Gracious Lord, grant him eternal rest

My heart is breaking as I type the words-my dear dear friend Kristina is now a widow. Her beloved husband Paul died suddenly Friday afternoon. He leaves behind 5 young children and is now joined with his 5 children in Heaven. Please pray.

I did know my heart could feel like this. I went to be with her and the kids last night, and I just held her as she collapsed in grief into my arms. I could literally feel her heart breaking as I held her. He truly was her knight in shining armor. Her eyes lit up at the sound of his name and the thought of him kissing her. There are so many emotions, so many questions.

We have had countless discussions on why God's will includes so much suffering. We pick each other up when the other is having a bad day. We point each other toward the Lord. We make each other feel better, stronger, more confident, more grounded. We help each other keep an eternal Heavenly perspective. It is killing me that I cannot do that for her now. I cannot make this pain go away for her. I do not understand, but I will TRUST.

Let Us Pray

We commend to You, O Lord, the soul of our brother Paul who passed from time to eternity. We humbly beseech You to be to him a merciful Judge. In Your infinite goodness pardon him all the sins that he ever committed through human frailty. Through the merits of the bitter sufferings and death of Jesus Christ, by the sorrows of His Blessed Mother, and the intercession of all the saints, remit the punishment that he deserves and lead him into the glory of Heaven. Amen.

Our Father... Hail Mary... (five times)

Eternal rest grant to him, O Lord; and let perpetual light shine upon him; may he rest in peace. Amen.

A really nice weekend

What a beautiful weekend this was. The weather was great; the only thing that would have made it perfect would have been a little rain. In typical Minnesota fashion, we have gone from too much rain to not enough. The lawn is not looking so good except where the kids played in the sprinkler; the trick is to keep moving it around I guess- double duty.

After Mass last night we surprised the kids with an impromptu picnic at the park they have been asking to play at. This was very last minute, so dinner was takeout chicken, and by chicken I mean only chicken. The kids used the box as their plates and washed up with baby wipes. Maybe next time I will pack dinner. We had so much fun playing; this was a really fun park. I thought Gabriella would give Paul a heart attack the way she meanders about. She has no fear of heights or speed. It's quite a sight when there is a waiting line to use the swings. Yes, our family hogs the swings; there's so darn many of us we even doubled up to get us all on. We decided we best let the others have a chance, so we moved on to the climbing wall and slides. It was hard to leave but a threat of a storm urged us on only to disappoint us with about a tablespoon of rain.

This morning, the kids actually let me sleep in until 7. The sun was shining through the freshly washed windows; if you could have only seem them before you would know why this was such a sight for sore eyes. The morning was so beautiful I decided we should have some morning time out on the deck. We did puzzles, sang songs, watched the birds and even had breakfast outside. Note to self... styrofoam bowls don't do well on a windy day. Fun just the same. I'm sure it was quite a sight especially with Pauly panicking that things would fly away.

For some reason the styrofoam bowls gave me an idea to make musical instruments, so after lunch the kids decorated their bowls and a milk jug, filled them with rice, noodles and popcorn, and then had a little parade.

This turned out little dark, but Gabriella and Pauly had fun making noise, I mean music. Gabriella wasn't messing around with any pretend instruments; she went straight for the real deal. I think she's going to be a percussionist like her mama.

Later in the afternoon, my parents came over for dinner. My siblings and I are in the process of planning a 50th wedding anniversary party for my parents, and my mom brought over a box of old photos and miscellaneous items she found. She brought her veil, her prayer book, and the wedding book that had all the shower and wedding details recorded. It was fun to read the list of gifts. Her gift to my dad was a t.v. stand and a room divider; how romantic! My dad's gift to my mom was a duster. At first Paul was thinking duster as in something to dust the house with until my mom clarified that it was a robe. That was when life was a lot simpler.

We had a lot of fun looking through the pictures; she had a glimmer in her eye I'm not sure I've seen before. Amazing to see how young they looked, and to see how far they've come in 50 years. She was 18 and he was 22. Now 5 children, 13 grandchildren later... they are a very blessed couple. Please say a prayer for good weather this coming Saturday; that is their actual anniversary and the date of the party- outdoors.

The kids are always upset when it is time for my parents to leave, tonight they pounced in efforts to keep her here. It is such a joy to watch your children so happy; we are blessed to have them in our lives and pray for many years to come.

Thank you Lord for the struggles

Ok, so it is not always easy to be thankful for our struggles; sometimes we need to grit our teeth and begrudgingly say thank you but our faith tells us to trust that God always has our best interest at heart, and eventually the thank you becomes more sincere. I find myself asking Him at times "why does this have to be so hard?" His answer usually includes something to the effect of - you're not in Heaven yet. I like to think about Job and what he went through, now that's perspective. God knows exactly what we need to get to Heaven. I'm thankful for that because I certainly would not choose the things that actually bring me the most learning and growth. Human nature is to seek the easy, the secure, and the things that make sense, but that's not how the Lord works. He wants us to lean on Him and trust. How would we ever know we needed Him if we were never pushed beyond our own abilities and comforts? I know I can do nothing without the Lord; I just need to remember to reach out and let Him help.

Tonight there are many prayer needs; many of God's faithful are being challenged and stretched. Please join me in praying for all those in need.

We're back...

We are back home and back to reality. We had a wonderful time. The kids had so much fun playing with their cousins. The weather was less than perfect, but we definitely made the best of it. I did have to do laundry because I didn't plan for so many cool days, but it was nice to bring clean laundry home. After one of the rain showers we caught sight of the most beautiful rainbow, a double rainbow, and we were even able to see the rainbow's end; it landed right in the lake. No pot of gold was found; we would have settled for a few fish though.

After patiently waiting for the rain to let up the daddies and grandpa took the 3 oldest girls out for some fishing. They didn't catch any fish, not even a nibble I'm told. They did have a lot of fun and did some nature watching. They found a beaver dam and a loon's nest.

A little blurry, but this is the loon on her nest.

The beaver dam.

Again, this is a little blurry, but it is a pelican. All of a sudden we saw huge white birds in the water and upon further look determined it was two pelicans; a rare sight. I have never seen wild pelicans. They are very large birds and watching them fly was pretty cool.

Can you tell we were a little into the wildlife? Not sure what this is, but Elizabeth informed us that it is not a spider because it only has 6 legs and single body. It looked like the shell of something; pretty creepy to me. Another bit of wildlife not caught on film was a wild cat stalking, catching, and killing a squirrel. How would you like your wake up call to be your husband and kids screaming "look, oh my gosh, oh my gosh" and "holy crap, holy crap"? They were about to leave our bunk house to go to the main cabin when they saw the mama cat crouching down about to pounce on something; they figured a mouse. No, it was a squirrel, and she got it. Talk about homeschooling at its finest; a lesson in predator/prey relationships.

The kids absolutely loved the water. As long as they had their life jackets on we pretty much left them alone to do their thing. The mosquitoes were terrible, so we watched them from the comfort of the cabin. What a joy to watch your children explore and enjoy nature and each other; simple joys like picking shells and throwing rocks.
The water was frigid but they begged and begged and begged, so we let them a little; at least until their lips turned blue. There was a lot of squealing and giggling.

Gabriella absolutely fell in love with her grandpa while we were there. She was constantly asking him to read her stories, and she would light up when she saw him enter the room. When she saw the boat come in after fishing, she ran to get her shoes on so fast so she could greet him at the door, and she was forever coming up to him and babbling away just wanting to talk with.

Everyone pretty much gathered in the main house, but the kids would take time away from the adults and rain in our bunk house aka movie theater.

How's this for a bunk bed ladder? The bunk beds were homemade and queen sized, and we used regular ladders to climb to the top bunk. Everything was an adventure.

One of the days, the dads decided to take the kids mini golfing. That was a lot of fun and a change of scenery.

As with all vacations, the end is bitter sweet. You're ready to get back into your regular routine, but it's so nice to be away. It was hard to leave, and definitely sad not to have hubby home anymore. The change of scenery was just what the dr. ordered. We are so thankful for the opportunity for fun and fellowship; a lot of great memories were made.

The sun, the sun, the sun!!!!!

Finally, I wake up to the sun ! My early morning wake up calls are a little easier to deal with when the sun is shining. I sometimes imagine what it will be like to one day get up early on purpose, grab a cup of coffee and sit out on the deck to watch the sun rise ( with no ear listening for who's waking up searching for mommy). I know that day will come soon enough, and I will miss these days, so for now I'm enjoying right where I am. I love my life; God has been so loving and giving to me.

Today is VACATION DAY!!!!! Paul and I were up packing late into the night. We decided that although we could use the sleep, it was much more to our benefit stress wise to pack without 5 children's help. It should be an interesting sight by the time we are done packing all our gear and us into the van. We are already at full capacity, so to get clothes, food, and all the needed gear for young children, every nook and cranny will be filled. We debated about driving a second vehicle, but decided with the gas prices soaring we could deal with being cramped. The kids should do fine as long as there is a movie playing. Paul works today, so my mission is laundry, clean up and finish packing. Our estimated departure time is 2:00, and it should take us a little under 2 hours provided we don't get lost.

Did I mention that our smiley adorable baby is now fully mobile? My world has significantly been altered now that I can't just plop him down to play and trust he will stay there. We're finding him everywhere. Could he not have waited one more week until the vacation was over? Good thing he's so cute!

I'm off for a refill of coffee. See you in a week.

Still raining...

Ok, so all this rain is really getting tiresome. Rain, rain go AWAY! We leave tomorrow for our little vacation, so we're really hoping the weather makes a turnaround. Although we would love for the weather to be perfect, we'll take whatever since we are soooooo excited to get away. It will be great family time no matter what the weather, and there will be no laundry, no school, no telephones. Please say a prayer for our safe travels and much needed fun, and oh maybe some rest and relaxation.

Pauly had his follow up meeting with the special ed. team with the school district on Wednesday. I have been so pleased with all the staff; they are so eager to determine Pauly's needs and are really supportive to me. The goal was to determine if he has any learning, cognitive or developmental delays. It was all very thorough. I had to fill out many surveys on what we observe at home, and then he had evals in the different areas including speech, cognitive, fine/gross motor skills, and also a full IQ/ability to learn eval with the psychologist.

All is all, he has many great qualities. They described him as a bright, intelligent boy. They found no learning or cognitive delays, and feel his ability to learn is very high. His main areas of struggle noted fall right in line with what we already new from experience and tie in with the Sensory Processing Disorder. He did show some delays in his social/adaptive skills which include his ablitity to read others cues and non verbals and his flexibility with transition and give/take situations and also his fine/gross motor skills that require great amounts of concentration and coordination of different body parts.

At this time he does not qualify for services because he needed to be delayed in 2 main areas by a certain margin, and although he showed delays they were not great enough in 2 or more areas, and his strengths brought up his mean score. Part of the psychologist's eval was to determine what his ability to learn is and is there a possibility of him falling into the Autism Spectrum. This is a very broad category hence the word spectrum. As she put it, he displays certain characteristics that "most likely are attributed to Autism Spectrum Disorder" but they are not ready to diagnose until further observations. If he does fall into the spectrum, they would be looking at him as very high functioning, and they would be looking at it strictly from an educational standpoint vs medically, and any services would focus on his weaknesses like the social interactions which could include him having short sessions with the other school kids. We will look into this more in the fall. He is making great strides with us and with the help of the independent occupational therapist, so there is a possibility we won't feel the need. Yesterday at OT, Denise said that of his 10 goals, he has reached all but 3 and is barely away from reaching those as well; he's gone 5 times. The special ed. team did bring in the school's Autism specialist for the meeting, and she is compiling a list of resources for me and has offered her assistance whenever I need it.

I am full of hope and peace about all this and am seeing many fruits of my labor. I am learning so much, and I am feeling grateful for this opportunity to learn and grow as a person and mother; it is changing my perspectives, my attitudes, my goals, and my own behaviors; I know we will all be better off for it. God truly can make any situation into a blessing if we let Him. Thank you for the prayers-they are working. God is good! Please know we pray for all you as well.

Rain, rain go away!

Unfortunately, I cannot lay claim to this adorable photo, but it's reminding me of summer fun. I'm sure George would devour a watermelon in a similar fashion since he LOVES food; we may need to try.

It's another dreary day on the home front. I like the free lawn watering, but I could use a break from the roller coaster weather. We're hoping it gets it out of it's system before we leave for our vacation, yes I said vacation. We are SOOOOO excited to get away for a few days; my dear hubby is actually getting a few days off of work- and they are all in a row! He will have more days off than he has had in the last month and a half-4. Thanks to some hard work by Paul's sister, we will be heading to a cabin about an hour north of our house . Hubby's sister and family, parents, and another sister will be joining us. To say we are giddy at the thought of some family fun is an understatement. The kids have had a countdown for the last 2 weeks. It will be so awesome to just kick back and relax while the kids play the days away. God is so good; He knows exactly what we need! Here's hoping the Son is shining for you today.