Back tracking

So I was thinking, shocker, that maybe I caught some off guard with the announcement about Pauly. I thought maybe I should back track a little to let you know what lead us to where we are now. I will try to make a short out of a long story, but forgive me if I ramble as this is bringing back a lot of memories and emotions.

As many of you know, Pauly has not been our easiest child. He has come so far in the last 3 years, but it has been a pretty intense ride. I'm sure I'm not the only one who remembers a holiday or two that were less than merry. A lot about him just never made sense; his outbursts of anger and frustration at seemingly insignificant things, his resistance to being touched by family and friends, his banging into chairs/walls or basically anything including me, his sudden bursts of ENERGY, etc.

When he was about to turn 3, I was about at my whits end. He was just so different from what I was used to with the girls, he was grunting and screaming more than anything else, and his fits of rage were awful. My niece-in-law who is a special ed. teacher stayed with us with us that June, and she was able to help me understand some of what she saw going on with Pauly. I decided to talk with his pediatrician about his behavior issues, and she assured me that I was on the right track with how I was handling him, and that it would just take time. As she put it, "the next 2-3 years are going to be intense and a challenge, but he'll be fine if you stick with it" Wow, what an understatement! By God's grace we have both survived.

Looking back over the last 3 years since that appointment, I am amazed at how far the Lord has brought not only Pauly but me as well. I am a much stronger, more confident mother, and he has changed leaps and bounds; he is such an amazing boy. One of the most heart wrenching parts about it is that he is so wonderful, and for so long nobody else got to see him for who he really was.

We had been plugging along utilizing the information and tools I had picked up a long the way from my niece and a lot of sheer inspiration from the Lord. The frequency and intensity of his outbursts were decreasing and we were beginning to see more of the sweet Pauly that we knew was there. He started Kindergarten and has been amazing us with his intelligence, and his comedic sarcasm and whit has left us howling a time or two. Not to mention his creativity (he'll figure out a new way to do just about anything), but his energy level and his difficulty handling transitions and new tasks was still concerning me. The bigger motivator was seeing the look on Pauly's face, the remorse in his eyes and in his voice when he couldn't slow down or the fear in his eyes when he was so angry or frustrated and he couldn't calm himself down. It broke my heart to hear him say "I'm sorry Mommy I'm just having a bad time" or " I didn't mean to Mommy." Breaks my heart just to write it and remember that moment when I knew it was time; we needed more help.

A friend of mine who has an autistic son and I were talking about Pauly and his behaviors and she suggested that maybe I take Pauly in for an occupational therapy evaluation to see if he had sensory issues. So we filled out a ton of surveys on his typical behaviors and responses to life basically, and I took him in for the evaluation. The first thing out of the therapists mouth when reviewing the survey was "oh, I can see he definitely has some sensory issues." He proceeded to go through a battery of tests for the next hour and a half without me I might add; he was a trooper. I'll spare you the ins and outs, but the result was the overhead diagnosis of Sensory Integration Dysfunction.

I never knew I would find such relief in a label, but it finally makes so much sense; he makes so much sense to me now. I look at him with different eyes now. He literally can't help many of the behaviors that make you think you've got yourself the next Rainman. I am filled with so much hope for him now, but there is plenty to still be worked out. Please pray that our insurance sees this as a medical issue and covers his occupational therapy, and please pray that he won't fall through the cracks of the system if they determine he isn't severe enough.

Here is another site that another niece passed on to me. www.brighttots.com/sensory_integration.html