Stopping to catch my breath and collect my thoughts for a minute or at least trying to...

Do you ever spend a lot of time working on something only to have it disappear? That's what just happened to the post I was working on. Frustration is an understatement right now. I had worked hard to get out what I wanted to say, and now I have to figure it all out again, ugh. The pictures above were supposed to go down below, but I can't seem to get them to cooperate and move or delete.

Ok, so maybe I'm having some anger issues tonight, but I think that is allowed considering the stress I've been under. To say the last few weeks have been a roller coaster of events and emotions is an understatement to say the least. Who would have thought that one night could be filled with such extremes. Little did I know that at about the same moment that my husband and I were witnessing my good high school friend say "I do" and begin her new life together with her husband, my dear friend Krisitina was getting a knock on the door with the words that would shatter and alter her world forever. My heart was filled with such joy to watch Angie and her new husband float through their reception full of so many goals and dreams, and then my heart was filled with an anguish I have never felt before as I got word of Paul's death.

When I called her that night not knowing what I would say when she picked up the phone, her first words were "oh, I hoped you wouldn't find out until after your parent's party tomorrow." I could hardly believe that at the worst moment of her life she would be thinking of me wanting me to enjoy myself. How could I possibly enjoy the party when my heart was aching so much for her and the kids? And yet I knew this party was something I had been looking forward to for so long.

Despite the sadness in my heart, we had a wonderful party for my parent's 50th anniversary on the 28th. There were a few showers, but overall the weather was great. My parents had a great time; the had a great turn out and got to see a lot of their good friends from over the years. My mom looked beautiful and my dad looked dapper as usual. My favorite part was watching them dance together ( a party is never complete with out some polka music). Despite their "individual"styles, when they dance together they take on a special sparkle; they are graceful and move with ease in unison- two really do become one. It was a precious moment watching them glide along smiling and talking with each other like no one else was around. I wish I could have caught a picture, but my camera man was busy driving kids around town trying to get them a nap. They used to dance on roller skates, and have continued to dance over the years. It has always been fun to watch them dance together, but this time felt especially nice. They get tired more quickly than they used to, but it was wonderful to see. I pray the Lord blesses them with many more happy years together.

My dad was so thoughtful and wanted any leftover food to go to Kristina and the kids. I was glad to comply. I knew the days ahead would be tough.

Paul's funeral was a beautiful tribute to the man he was. I have never attended a military burial. Wow was it something. Two of Paul's brothers are in the military, and to watch them fold their brother's flag and present it to Kristina was too intense for words, and then hearing the gunshots-ugh. So much respect, so much reverence and honor.

I have been blessed with the privilege of walking along side Kristina and her children during their grief. To say I am being stretched is an understatement, but I made a promise to Paul that I would be there for them, we as a family will be there for them. I hope that I am in some way able to ease the pain by sharing in her journey.Please continue to pray for the repose of Paul's soul and for Kristina and the family as they face reality without Paul.